Some movies lack direction, and this is a prime example of such a movie.  Johnny Depp never seems to care that he’s in the movie.  His soulless performance becomes aggravating as the movie wears on, and the ultimate twist feels like it’s put there just for the sake of a twist.  Surprisingly, Angelina Jolie wasn’t as annoying as she can be, but there were far too many shots of nothing other than her walking, which probably isn’t a problem if you think she’s as attractive as the media would have you believe, but I am not one of those people.

At least Venice looks nice as always

Apparently the movie was supposed to be a sort of comedy, but it never worked.  This is due in part to Depp not caring about the movie, but also because it simply wasn’t funny.  Sure, the police officers were confused the whole time, which as a little bit funny, but then Jolie would come on and it would turn back into following her around doing a lot of nothing.  The first half of the film played out as a low-rate romance with hints of action that never amounted to anything worthwhile.

On a positive note, much of the panning over Venice looked really good.  That is until Depp ran across the rooftops and did the exact same run that Jack Sparrow does in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.  The list of things Depp did to annoy never really ends in this movie, and it didn’t help any that Jolie just isn’t that good of an actress (note, I said above she wasn’t as annoying as can be, I never said anything about acting).

I suppose I should talk some more about the plot, but there really isn’t one.  The whole time I was waiting for a plot to take off, but then I realized the plot is as paper thin as it begins.  I don’t think this would have actually mattered if the movie was funny, but it wasn’t, and I think it tried to be.

I’m usually not a critique of little words, but for this movie I am.  The soulless acting by Depp and the never great acting by Jolie left me with two characters I couldn’t care less about in a story with zero substance.

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